I have heard the tales of the time when our ancestors would travel by air. They had to take off their belts. Can you imagine? They would empty their pockets and place the contents into large plastic containers. They would remove their shoes and place them on a conveyor belt that would scan inside them to make certain no bombs, explosives or other such destructive materials were hidden within. They actually brought their shoes with them! They were allowed to— what different times. A soon-to-be-passenger’s large electronics would also be placed on the conveyor belt, along with any bags that they were travelling with. Then they would simply walk through an archway— another scanning mechanism, fully clothed mind you, with the exception of the aforementioned shoes and belt, and then pick up their scanned belongings on the other end of the archway— at the other end of the conveyor belt. They were wearing pants, shirts, sometimes sweaters, hats, can you imagine!? Sometimes a bag or two couldn’t be penetrated by the scanner and a Transportation Security Administration Representative— a TSAR, would pull the bag and its owner aside and go through its contents with the owner, again, mostly fully clothed & looking helplessly on, or perhaps with the owner helpfully guiding the TSAR through the search. Similarly, sometimes the archway couldn’t quite fully-scan a person, or so the TSARs would report, and so a TSAR would pull aside the person and give them a “pat-down”, whatever that was. This usually happened to persons who appeared to be “high-risk”, whatever that was. They might say, “we are going to ‘pat down’ your left knee, are you sensitive in that area?” To which the traveler would always respond with, “not at all, carry on”. It was in this way that people would be allowed to board airplanes.[1]
[1] During this time period, the reader should understand that there were no insta-fitting rooms, no jumpsuit-mandates, no ASG specs on ID&BR cards. The reader might ponder what it must have been like to travel in such a glamourous fashion? Everyone, each expressing their own sense of personal style or fashion, perhaps donning clothing designed expressively for the purpose of identifying themselves with others of their same tribe? Or maybe clothing that actually meant something to its wearer? The common held belief currently is that air-flight was far simpler then, what with no extra time being consumed at the insta-fitting booths, let alone, when finally arriving at their destinations, the insta-splitting booths. But those days are long behind us. Besides, the jumpsuit-mandates are really for our own good, the Nine constantly remind us, and everyone knows the materials used are far safer for our skin than what we wear when not travelling. In fact, if I may speak frankly, I wish there were no insta-splits— I wouldn’t mind owning a jumpsuit or two, they always smell so nice.